Pirates of the Caribbean II was fun, if overlong. Lots of great CG, from Disney’s new logo animation, through the great-looking fish-human hybrid antagonists and to the climactic battle against the Kraken. Lots of pretty people, highly sexualised – indeed, about the second shot of the movie was Keira Knightley’s cleavage. Lots of funny slapstick, and a great swordfight sequence involving a huge mill wheel. Lots of joyously dark imagery – I thought a quick cut of a crow pecking out an eyeball at the beginning would leave parent wondering if the movie should really have had a higher rating (Like ‘Arrr!’?). Lots of broad stereotyping, as could be expected in a pirate film (though it seems the production company have got in trouble for portraying a real people as clichéd savage cannibals). Lots of fun, laughs and top-class Hollywood thrills.
But also lots of dubious moments (why does the Kraken faff about when it can pull ships under in a moment? If Elizabeth left Jack on the ship because the Kraken is following HIM, why didn’t it follow him when he was rowing off?), lots of disjointedness with the excessive aspects of the McGuffin-fuelled plot, lots of cheese from the main characters (even the gimmick of Jack is wearing a bit thin now) and really not a strong enough story to stretch into two movies. Nowhere near as satisfying as the first one, but fun nonetheless, and certainly worth seeing. And of course, the run-time was roughly the same amount of time as Will wagers on his bet…ie eternity.
And let’s face it, no-one, NO-ONE would ever have been convinced that Keira Knightley was a boy!
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