A review in figures! It was...
400% more satisfying than the book, which can’t rely on awesome special effects, and 112% more obvious how ropey, episodic and disjointed the plot is. Also, it was 3% easy-to-understand for audience members who haven’t read the books, 70% too rushed for those who have. 92% were happy that there were lots of bangs, flashes, and even 3D bits! 6% laughed at inappropriate points. Imelda Staunton was 97% perfectly despicable, while Helena Bonham Carter’s cackles were 73% well-placed. Emma Watson spent 90% of the time looking like the world’s most beautiful girl, and 10% like a very cute boy. Luna Lovegood’s spacey behaviour was 60% as I imagined, but her Irish brogue made her 400X as loveable. Daniel Radcliffe’s performance was 167% better than his Alan Strang, but 72% as good as it really needed to be. On the other hand Harry was but 3% as annoying as he was in the book. The cream of British acting talent were 88% underused, but appropriately, only 12% necessary. Baby-headed death-eaters, on the other hand, were missed by 0.0002% of cinema-goers.
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